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demons. | kaneki ken

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demons. | kaneki ken х reader

⎾ When the days are cold, and the cards all fold
And the saints we see are all made of gold ⏌

"[Name] ... I want to break up."

This was the hardest decision Kaneki had to make. He spent hours upon hours contemplating, staying up late at night thinking, wracking his brain for the best solution.

And this was his final choice.

So on a cold Friday afternoon, Kaneki called to meet you in front of the university. Frankly, he didn’t want this. Why would he?

He could see the flurry of emotions fleeting in your eyes, surprise, shock, upset, confusion and hurt. All of which pained him to see. It took him every fibre of his being to stop himself from taking his back his words. And, oh gods, he wanted to take back his words so badly; to hold you in his arms, and apologise for the cruel joke he played on you.

But he didn't. This was no joke.

"Ken..." you voice came out small. He hated the sadness lacing your voice; he felt his heart tugging at the very song of your voice. "Why? Did something happen? I can fix it. I'll do whatever; I don't want the break up with you. Just tell me what's wrong."

⎾ I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside, there’s nowhere we can hide ⏌

Kaneki wanted to tell you. He wanted to tell you that he was not human. That he never was before he started dating you. Touka had warned him, urging him to break it off with you, because if you were to find out, she'd have no choice but to intervene. However, no amount of persuasion could sway him.

Kaneki thought that a half-ghoul like him and you, a human, could work out. He was, after all, only part monster.

But after the events involving Tsukiyama and Nishiki's human lover, he began to rethink his decision. He can no longer assume that you are safe around him. Even if he was only part monster, it doesn't change the fact that you will be in great danger because of him.

What if Tsukiyama had come after you instead? What if you got injured because of him? There were times when he can't control his ghoul side; what if he hurt you in his monstrous condition? He couldn't forgive himself if that happens. Never.

「 Don't wanna let you down, but I am hell bound
Though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth ⏌

"[Name], it's not you," he said as he stared into your eyes with much regret and sorry, "It's me."

He watched as your lips curled downwards. "It's not you, it’s me? Ken, how dare you use such an overused and clichéd line. Tell me what's wrong in our relationship that you want to break it off."

"It's me, that's what's wrong in our relationship!" he exclaimed, the desperation in his voice made you flinch. "It's always been me, since the very beginning."

He turned his head slightly, staring at the snow-covered grass. There was a heavy feeling in his chest; he never thought it’d be so difficult to end this. He let out a long exhale that turned white in the cold.

"Then tell me, Ken, why are you the fault in our relationship?" you asked softly, placing a hand on his cheek. Your fingers were cold, he noted; the weather today was mercilessly cold, just like how he would feel after this. "I always had this feeling that you were keeping something from me. From the moment we started going out."

⎾ When you feel my heat, look into my eyes
It’s where my demons hide ⏌

He knew you were the perceptive one. But as sharp as you are, there was no way you'd ever guess him a ghoul. Even the subtle hints he dropped were brushed aside.

Your hand travelled to the medical eye patch covering his left eye. Kaneki stayed silent, gazing into your eyes. He wanted to tell you, but he can't. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t, the words won’t come out.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, gently pushing your hand away with his, "You'll only be in greater danger if you know."

"Ken, I don't understand..."

He shook his head. He wanted you to stop speaking; it'll only make it harder to break it off. "My decision is final," Kaneki said in a firm tone. He was surprised that his voice didn't waver when he spoke, "What we had in the short time we were together had been the best days of my life, but we can't continue. From now on, I am a stranger to you. This is goodbye."

⎾ Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside
It’s where my demons hide ⏌

Kaneki turned to leave; he needed to go before he felt the need to take everything back. But you grabbed his sleeve.

When he turned to you again, tears ran down your face, and his heart throbbed in pain. He knew he was going to hurt you whether or not he decided to break up. But which pain would hurt more? The pain of breaking up? Or the pain you'd have to face if you stayed?

It took everything he had to stop himself from going back on his words. Kaneki shook your grip off his sleeve. "I'm sorry," he whispered, almost inaudible. "I'm so sorry."

“Ken…” you whispered, “Could it be…you…”

Without offering another word, you reached for his eye patch and gently tugged it down. He took a sharp breath. The left eye that was always hidden behind a white patch, the black and red demonic eye now fully exposed to the very person he desperately hid it from.

You gasped, eyes widened, and staring into his mismatched eyes. He turned his head, quickly adjusting his eye patch, as you stood there, unmoving.

⎾ They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate ⏌

“…This is the reason why I want to break up,” he offered softly, “I’m not human.”

“But Ken … I... I want to stay with you.” Kaneki lifted his gaze, surprised. “I don’t care if you’re human or ghoul, that won’t change how I feel for you.”

He shook his head. “You do realise that associating with ghouls is a criminal offence. I’m sorry, but you’ll be in so much danger.”

“Ken—”

“You’ll die staying with me. I might eat you myself.”

You froze. He knew it. Humans feared death, and you were no different.

“Like the people you see on the news, I’ll rip you limb from limb, slowly and painfully till you’re completely devoured, and nothing but a pile of bloodied bones."

Oh gods, what was he saying? There's no way he could ever do that especially to you. But if scaring you would keep you from harm’s way, then he’d gladly be the monster he had to play.

⎾ It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go ⏌

“I don’t want to leave you, but I want to save you. If you still want me … then I won’t stop you.” With one last look, he turned on his heel and left you standing frozen in confusion and hurt.

There was a tiny part of him that hoped you’d stop him again.

But you didn’t.

Biting his lip, Kaneki walked until he reached an empty park, and he sat on one of the cold wooden benches. He knew that when he returns to Anteiku, he'd get a cup of coffee, and words of comfort from Touka and Yoshimura.

But all he wanted right now was a moment of solitary. He shut his eyes, and his mind wandered back to you, your crying face, and then that look of fear in your eyes. His chest tightened.

⎾ Your eyes they shine so bright
I wanna save that light ⏌

Kaneki hoped he did the right thing. Now that you were no longer with him, he hoped you'll meet another person one day, a normal human, and you'll forget about him.

A bittersweet feeling bloomed in his chest. He hated the thought of you with another lover, but at the same time, he wished for your happiness. You'll be safer with a human, he reasoned with himself. They'll keep you safe, and they can offer you so much more happiness that he can.

Tears streamed down his face; it hurts. It hurts. It hurts so much it’s unbearable. If only he never agreed to walk Rize home that day, then maybe he wouldn’t have any problems to face. Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, he so desperately wished he could stay with you.

There was no way you’d stay with him. He’s a monster.

“Ken!”

He lifted his gaze at the sound of your voice. Your eyes as bloodshot as his and your shoulders heaved as you breath in an interval. “I don't care, you won't get rid of me easily. Ghoul or human, I'm sticking with you.”

But maybe he’s wrong.

⎾ I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how ⏌
kanekikentokyoghoulxreaderinsertkanekikenxreader
first time writing kaneki i'm so sorry for the oocness orz ;;
tbh i don't really remember watching tokyo ghoul. i mean i did watch it but it's hazy in my mind ;A;

if you see any grammar mistakes, please tell me so I may fix it right away!
    !! Comments are highly appreciated !!
    ※ tokyo ghoul and all its character belongs to sui ishida.
    ※ plot belongs me. do not copy or plagiarize my work.
    ※ art belongs to rightful owner. if you happen to know the source, please let me know!
    ※ word count: 1530
© 2015 - 2024 Absolute-Emperor
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